It's that time of year. I have a teeth cleaning coming up. I still go to my childhood dentist that is a 30-minute drive from here because I picked a local guy and he ended up being crazy! My very first appointment with the guy he wouldn’t speak directly to me. He would talk to the dental hygienist who would then talk to me, even though we were all three in the same room.
The main reason I went to this guy was I heard he gives you a lot of drugs for surgery. I like drugs. Errm, I mean, I like drugs that are legally prescribed to me and taken for a legitimate medical purpose. I needed my wisdom teeth out, and I’m such a freakin’ baby I knew I’d need a massive amount of pills. During the exam before having my wisdom teeth out the dentist asks, “So do you feel any pressure?” Sure this was probably related to my teeth, but it came out of left field so I said, “Errm, pressure like how?” He leans over me with his hands around his face like claws and says, “Pressure like 'GRRRRRRRR!'” Yes, the dentist growled at me like a bear. When your dentist growls at you, you basically have to grin and bear it. After this I still let him extract my wisdom teeth. So wacko the tooth man yanks out one of my wisdom teeth holds it up over me and says, “It’s a boy!” It is lucky part of his arsenal of pills included Valium. Even in a Valium fog I’m thinking, “Oh crap. This dude is crazy.”
There was a few more crazy stories that followed, and I stopped visiting that dentist. I guess I like my childhood dentist whose weirdness habit is his fondness for redhead jokes.
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