I should probably start off by saying I'm socially awkward. I make fun of creepers, but if I'm put in weird situations I say really, really inappropriate things. I can't help it. I'm just a twitchy person, I guess.
My great-aunt Pat passed away this week, so last night I went to the visitation. I guess most of you know how those go. You see a lot of relatives that look vaguely familiar from your childhood, but you have no idea who they are.
So this older lady corners me and makes the usual statement, "I haven't seen you since you were a baby! You are all grown up!" I just agreed that I am now grown up. Then she adds, "The last time I saw you, you threw up all over me." I stood there not knowing what to say. To fill the space she adds, "And I mean ALL over me." I finally said, "Well, I could probably do that again for you. You know for old times sake?" and took off!
Saturday, February 20, 2010
Wednesday, February 17, 2010
if it looks like a date and walks like a date
So I went to a beer festival in late September with a few friends. Meredith ended up knowing one of the guys serving some of the home brewed beer. We shall call him Chicken, because his name rhymes with a term for chicken. Chicken invited us to an after party. I think it sounds cool, because I’m assuming lots of the beer brewers will be there. We showed up and it was just me, Meredith, Chicken, and Chicken’s wife. No one spoke. It was extremely awkward. Meredith tells me later that she only knows the guy though her very recent ex.
So I was invited to go to a Fat Tuesday Brewmaster’s dinner at a local brewery. The place has amazing food and amazing beer. I was really excited to go to this epic five-course dinner. I walked in with my friend and there’s one place for us to sit. I know that I know the couple sitting at the table, but I don’t know how. I was in full-blown panic mode trying to remember who the couple was before we were committed to the table. As we are walking over I realized it was Chicken and his wife!
Chicken is immediately weird with me. Thankfully my friend is smooth in socially awkward situations and managed to pull together the semblance of a normal conversation. I actually had a lot of fun at the dinner and with my friend. I was very thankful he seemed to be the perfect creeper shield.
Then Chicken made a comment about us being on a date. To be 100% honest, I realized we looked like we were on a date. It’s a guy and a girl at a nice dinner. I shrugged it off, because I never got the impression he liked me, or that I liked him. So Chicken drops the D words like a giant bomb. My eyes grew as being as eggs and I wasted no time saying, “Oh we aren’t on a date.” I’ve had so many creepers butt into my love life that at this point I guess I’m a little defensive about it!
My friend confirmed it wasn’t a date. I think he gave the reason, “I didn’t pick her up. If it was a date, wouldn’t I have picked her up?” LOL. Chicken goes, “Oh okaaaaaaaaaay. It isn’t often I take girls to a dimly lit fancy dinner and not call it a date, but whatever you say.” Then he keeps bringing it up. Mentioning little ways it seems to be a date. At some point I just tuned it out. I could really care less what he thought. I did tune back in to hear my friend say, “Yeah okay. It looks like a date, so yeah I guess it is a date.” DOH! Not what I wanted. No one wants to be a default date.
It sounds like all of this ruined dinner. I don’t know how my friend really feels, but he was a champ at saving the day. He really did deflect most of the hostility and the boys managed to get along fine. The little conversations about if it was a date or if it wasn’t were all pretty short. Once my friend said that it was a date, Chicken left it alone. He only mentioned it once more when we left. His parting shot was, “I hope you two have a nice time on the rest of your date.”
I text a friend from out-of-state about this when I got home. He wrote me back, “Little Rock really is the smallest town ever isn’t it?” Little Rock has nearly 190,000 people. If you add in the greater Little Rock area it’s more like 700,000. That’s way too many people for me to run into someone every ime I go out, but I sure do manage it! I wrote him back and just said, “No I just know everyone!”
So I was invited to go to a Fat Tuesday Brewmaster’s dinner at a local brewery. The place has amazing food and amazing beer. I was really excited to go to this epic five-course dinner. I walked in with my friend and there’s one place for us to sit. I know that I know the couple sitting at the table, but I don’t know how. I was in full-blown panic mode trying to remember who the couple was before we were committed to the table. As we are walking over I realized it was Chicken and his wife!
Chicken is immediately weird with me. Thankfully my friend is smooth in socially awkward situations and managed to pull together the semblance of a normal conversation. I actually had a lot of fun at the dinner and with my friend. I was very thankful he seemed to be the perfect creeper shield.
Then Chicken made a comment about us being on a date. To be 100% honest, I realized we looked like we were on a date. It’s a guy and a girl at a nice dinner. I shrugged it off, because I never got the impression he liked me, or that I liked him. So Chicken drops the D words like a giant bomb. My eyes grew as being as eggs and I wasted no time saying, “Oh we aren’t on a date.” I’ve had so many creepers butt into my love life that at this point I guess I’m a little defensive about it!
My friend confirmed it wasn’t a date. I think he gave the reason, “I didn’t pick her up. If it was a date, wouldn’t I have picked her up?” LOL. Chicken goes, “Oh okaaaaaaaaaay. It isn’t often I take girls to a dimly lit fancy dinner and not call it a date, but whatever you say.” Then he keeps bringing it up. Mentioning little ways it seems to be a date. At some point I just tuned it out. I could really care less what he thought. I did tune back in to hear my friend say, “Yeah okay. It looks like a date, so yeah I guess it is a date.” DOH! Not what I wanted. No one wants to be a default date.
It sounds like all of this ruined dinner. I don’t know how my friend really feels, but he was a champ at saving the day. He really did deflect most of the hostility and the boys managed to get along fine. The little conversations about if it was a date or if it wasn’t were all pretty short. Once my friend said that it was a date, Chicken left it alone. He only mentioned it once more when we left. His parting shot was, “I hope you two have a nice time on the rest of your date.”
I text a friend from out-of-state about this when I got home. He wrote me back, “Little Rock really is the smallest town ever isn’t it?” Little Rock has nearly 190,000 people. If you add in the greater Little Rock area it’s more like 700,000. That’s way too many people for me to run into someone every ime I go out, but I sure do manage it! I wrote him back and just said, “No I just know everyone!”
Sunday, February 14, 2010
snowpocalypse!!!! omg
I have a new theory. I think cold weather keeps the crazy people indoors. Really you'd think only crazy people would be out in the cold, but as it stands I've went nearly all of 2010 with no creepers. I'm really happy about it, but I have nothing to blog about.
I was told that Friday all 50 states had snow on the ground. I scoffed at this and automatically assumed it was untrue. However, at my job I talk to people across the United States. I had field technicians in Texas, Florida, Georgia, and Missouri mention snow. If all those states have snow, I'll believe the rest do! Of course, Little Rock usually manages to avoid snow. Even if the rest of the state gets it, storm fronts tend to donut around Little Rock. I have no idea why. Might be elevation, the river, the heat from the city, but something either breaks up storms over Little Rock or decreases them.
Snowpocalypse 2010 moved through Little Rock undaunted. We actually didn't have snow in the forecast. There was a slight chance for a winter mix (ie sleet). I woke up at 3:45 AM intending to go shooting, and saw a good three inches of snow on the ground. I was a little bit bleary eyed and surprised to see my yard yet again covered in white. I went back to bed, because my day in the Ozarks was ruined. I got back up around 7 and not much else had happened. I figured the snow was nearly finished. Over the next few hours we were dumped with a lot more snow. It ended up being over six inches. Then we got a rainfall that really packed the snow in. As I type this there's still snow on the ground. Six days later, we still have snow!
I couldn't miss the chance for some pictures, so I headed out in the snow for some shots. I got some at the State Capitol that I'm really proud of. I hope you guys like them.
I was told that Friday all 50 states had snow on the ground. I scoffed at this and automatically assumed it was untrue. However, at my job I talk to people across the United States. I had field technicians in Texas, Florida, Georgia, and Missouri mention snow. If all those states have snow, I'll believe the rest do! Of course, Little Rock usually manages to avoid snow. Even if the rest of the state gets it, storm fronts tend to donut around Little Rock. I have no idea why. Might be elevation, the river, the heat from the city, but something either breaks up storms over Little Rock or decreases them.
Snowpocalypse 2010 moved through Little Rock undaunted. We actually didn't have snow in the forecast. There was a slight chance for a winter mix (ie sleet). I woke up at 3:45 AM intending to go shooting, and saw a good three inches of snow on the ground. I was a little bit bleary eyed and surprised to see my yard yet again covered in white. I went back to bed, because my day in the Ozarks was ruined. I got back up around 7 and not much else had happened. I figured the snow was nearly finished. Over the next few hours we were dumped with a lot more snow. It ended up being over six inches. Then we got a rainfall that really packed the snow in. As I type this there's still snow on the ground. Six days later, we still have snow!
I couldn't miss the chance for some pictures, so I headed out in the snow for some shots. I got some at the State Capitol that I'm really proud of. I hope you guys like them.
Monday, January 25, 2010
final rest stop
This happened a couple of months ago and has become one of those stories I tell new people when I meet them. The guy involved in this story actual has no idea about most of the thoughts that ran though my head, so I imagine if he reads this he will laugh his butt off.
I went a photo outing with a friend of mine. We stopped at the Ozark Cafe in Jasper, Arkansas. It’s just one of those places if you are within a 20 mile radius of it you should stop. Apparently the food didn’t agree with my friend on this day. He failed to tell me this as he pulled into the only rest stop along Highway 7 headed back home.
He was driving my car and left it running with the headlights and everything still on. The door was unlocked and for a moment I wondered if I could reach over and lock it.
This rest stop is a little pull off the highway and makes a loop along the side of the highway. It’s nice because you don’t have to turn your car around to leave. I missed seeing the people get in the car behind me. I did notice them turn around and pull up just behind my car and stop. The door was still unlocked. A mild panic crept in. They crept forward a bit and stopped even with my car. At this point I reached over and slammed the lock. Then they pulled forward a bit more and stopped once again.
It was very dark and I had no idea who was in this car. I started getting scared. My friend had been gone nearly ten minutes at this point. Since he had left the car running, I assumed he was making a quick stop. I convinced myself they murdered him. I also decided they were debating if they should get rid of me too. I am a witness after all! I’m totally thinking to myself, “OMG! OMG! They murdered him. I’m next!”
This is the moment when you realize just how selfish of a person you really are. I think to myself, “Well what if they did murder him!? I mean he’s already dead. Do I just sit here and wait to be next? I mean I’m not dead yet. That’s so much more urgent. (My friend) is already dead! I just gotta leave! I still have time to save myself!” As I think this a rational thought sinks in - If my friend isn’t dead he’s going to be pretty pissed when I abandoned him at a rest area. I mean, even if I came back later what am I going to say, “Well I thought you were dead so I left?”
The car eventually drives off. I settle myself down, but now nearly twenty minutes has passed. So once again I’m thinking, “OMG! They really did murder him. He’s in the bathroom bleeding to death!” I weigh my options. I could bust into the men’s room and find out he’s fine and never hear the end of it. I could sit in the car and let him bleed to death. How long should I wait until I’m not just freaking out? I’m pretty certain the odds are slim he’s bleeding to death, and I already embarrass myself a ton.
Finally I just can’t take it anymore and slowly exit the car and walk towards the restrooms. I act like I’m getting a drink of water just in case he comes out. I’m still trying to avoid admitting I’m wigging out. Just as I approach the water fountains I hear the sink running in the men’s room. I figured someone is really inconsiderate and washing their hands over my friend’s dead, bleeding body or he’s finally finished. I booked it back to the car and pretended I hadn’t gotten out. Then he explained the food had some pretty negative effects.
Anytime I tell this story now it’s usually to a new shooting buddy. I’m not really sure if I’m trying to explain to them that I’m crazy or that next time something similar happens I’ll totally leave someone at a rest stop! Either way with all my excited talk and hand motions the story usually gets a pretty good laugh.
By the way, the next day I realized I had a headlight out. It is highly possible it was a nice family just trying to decide if they should tell the scared girl her car had a headlight out. I have no way of knowing what they were really doing though.
Since pictures are fun, here's a random shot from that day's trip:
I went a photo outing with a friend of mine. We stopped at the Ozark Cafe in Jasper, Arkansas. It’s just one of those places if you are within a 20 mile radius of it you should stop. Apparently the food didn’t agree with my friend on this day. He failed to tell me this as he pulled into the only rest stop along Highway 7 headed back home.
He was driving my car and left it running with the headlights and everything still on. The door was unlocked and for a moment I wondered if I could reach over and lock it.
This rest stop is a little pull off the highway and makes a loop along the side of the highway. It’s nice because you don’t have to turn your car around to leave. I missed seeing the people get in the car behind me. I did notice them turn around and pull up just behind my car and stop. The door was still unlocked. A mild panic crept in. They crept forward a bit and stopped even with my car. At this point I reached over and slammed the lock. Then they pulled forward a bit more and stopped once again.
It was very dark and I had no idea who was in this car. I started getting scared. My friend had been gone nearly ten minutes at this point. Since he had left the car running, I assumed he was making a quick stop. I convinced myself they murdered him. I also decided they were debating if they should get rid of me too. I am a witness after all! I’m totally thinking to myself, “OMG! OMG! They murdered him. I’m next!”
This is the moment when you realize just how selfish of a person you really are. I think to myself, “Well what if they did murder him!? I mean he’s already dead. Do I just sit here and wait to be next? I mean I’m not dead yet. That’s so much more urgent. (My friend) is already dead! I just gotta leave! I still have time to save myself!” As I think this a rational thought sinks in - If my friend isn’t dead he’s going to be pretty pissed when I abandoned him at a rest area. I mean, even if I came back later what am I going to say, “Well I thought you were dead so I left?”
The car eventually drives off. I settle myself down, but now nearly twenty minutes has passed. So once again I’m thinking, “OMG! They really did murder him. He’s in the bathroom bleeding to death!” I weigh my options. I could bust into the men’s room and find out he’s fine and never hear the end of it. I could sit in the car and let him bleed to death. How long should I wait until I’m not just freaking out? I’m pretty certain the odds are slim he’s bleeding to death, and I already embarrass myself a ton.
Finally I just can’t take it anymore and slowly exit the car and walk towards the restrooms. I act like I’m getting a drink of water just in case he comes out. I’m still trying to avoid admitting I’m wigging out. Just as I approach the water fountains I hear the sink running in the men’s room. I figured someone is really inconsiderate and washing their hands over my friend’s dead, bleeding body or he’s finally finished. I booked it back to the car and pretended I hadn’t gotten out. Then he explained the food had some pretty negative effects.
Anytime I tell this story now it’s usually to a new shooting buddy. I’m not really sure if I’m trying to explain to them that I’m crazy or that next time something similar happens I’ll totally leave someone at a rest stop! Either way with all my excited talk and hand motions the story usually gets a pretty good laugh.
By the way, the next day I realized I had a headlight out. It is highly possible it was a nice family just trying to decide if they should tell the scared girl her car had a headlight out. I have no way of knowing what they were really doing though.
Since pictures are fun, here's a random shot from that day's trip:
Saturday, January 23, 2010
here to party
This isn't really a creeper story, but I have to admit sometimes I really do love strangers. I was in Kroger getting some deli meat. I was on my lunch break and still rather stressed about work. The guy behind the counter goes, "Oh you want to be formal, but you like to have fun!" I was a little shocked and probably made a face to indicate that. He pointed at my tuxedo hoodie (think tuxedo t-shirt the hoodie version) and said he liked it. What he said is a rough quote from Talladega Nights.
I guess he was pretty good friends with the lady working with him. They started a whole conversation about odd t-shirts, which lead to a conversation about looking like a rock star. This ended up leading to a conversation about the awesomeness of Michael Jackson. Apparently the deli guy learned all MJ's dance moves in the '80s. The whole conversation was cracking me up.
I guess he was pretty good friends with the lady working with him. They started a whole conversation about odd t-shirts, which lead to a conversation about looking like a rock star. This ended up leading to a conversation about the awesomeness of Michael Jackson. Apparently the deli guy learned all MJ's dance moves in the '80s. The whole conversation was cracking me up.
Saturday, January 16, 2010
if you're nosey and you know it....
Here's a post for Allison who recently started posting shots around her new place. I thought I'd play along. Well, I'll at least post my living room. It's generally clean, because I never use it! I spend all my time in the kitchen, bedroom, or office.
The blue chair at the right is a yard sale find from my mom. It's pretty cool but not very comfortable. The rest of the furniture is a light green color that I got from Sam's Club. The rest of my decorations are from either yard sales, Target (clearance), Big Lots, or Garden Ridge. I heart cheap!
My house is on the oldish side. We think the living room was an add on. It sits three steps below the rest of house and had odd details like a large window into the kitchen that's too high to see through (from the living room side). Notice the dogs in the picture? Hehe.
You can almost see into the kitchen from this angle. It isn't nearly as clean since I actually use that room. On the TV is an episode of Twin Peaks. I don't have cable or a converter box, so the only things I watch are old DVDs if I'm home.
Anyway, I hope you enjoyed a view of my world sorta.
The blue chair at the right is a yard sale find from my mom. It's pretty cool but not very comfortable. The rest of the furniture is a light green color that I got from Sam's Club. The rest of my decorations are from either yard sales, Target (clearance), Big Lots, or Garden Ridge. I heart cheap!
My house is on the oldish side. We think the living room was an add on. It sits three steps below the rest of house and had odd details like a large window into the kitchen that's too high to see through (from the living room side). Notice the dogs in the picture? Hehe.
You can almost see into the kitchen from this angle. It isn't nearly as clean since I actually use that room. On the TV is an episode of Twin Peaks. I don't have cable or a converter box, so the only things I watch are old DVDs if I'm home.
Anyway, I hope you enjoyed a view of my world sorta.
Friday, January 15, 2010
finger lickin' good
Well, happy creepy New Year everyone.
At work there was a box of cookies on the desk next to mine today. This caused a small frenzy, which I mostly tried to tune out because I'm on a diet. Suddenly I felt something wet and cold on my neck.
I turned and asked the guy standing there, "What was that?"
"I licked my fingers and stuck them on your neck."
"Wait....really? Are you serious!?"
"Yes."
I put disinfectant on my neck after. This guy has read my blog from time to time, so if you are reading this welcome to the creeper list.
At work there was a box of cookies on the desk next to mine today. This caused a small frenzy, which I mostly tried to tune out because I'm on a diet. Suddenly I felt something wet and cold on my neck.
I turned and asked the guy standing there, "What was that?"
"I licked my fingers and stuck them on your neck."
"Wait....really? Are you serious!?"
"Yes."
I put disinfectant on my neck after. This guy has read my blog from time to time, so if you are reading this welcome to the creeper list.
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